You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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