yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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