You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
