Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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