She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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