Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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