Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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