I murdered the dance floor call the cops
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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