Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Come see our sink grown plant.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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