I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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