My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
