I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
