Screwed.edu
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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