so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
