Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize