Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
