Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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