pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
There r osticjed everywhere
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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