but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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