I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
