I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
