Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
