This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
