you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
