is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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