Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
