Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
