Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
