guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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