Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
