I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
