I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
