I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
