he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Randomize
