Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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