I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
