that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
