I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
