What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
