I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
You are a genius and a whore.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
