I would go down on you faster than GM stock
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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