I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
