just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
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