Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize