just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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