I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
