Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
There's always time for handjobs
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Randomize