Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize