I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
