i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
