barbara walters just said penis...
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
