Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
