I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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