I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
