If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
