Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
