Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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