I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
