Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
