Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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